Monday, 14 February 2011

IOR: Note For Phil

Iv had a few ideas about my story and a few days ago I came to my final story idea that I felt fitted my story components together nicely in a logical structure... However this is due to change after Monday's discussion. Just to note my idea I decided to abandon was my Main Story Idea 3 with the child detective interrogating his toys over stolen cookies which I really liked but I felt something wasn't right about it, possibly not comical enough?


  1. Interim Online Review 15/02/2011

    Hi Kay,

    Okay - so, following our discussion on Monday, it was suggested that the whole CSI approach could work nicely - in terms of spoofing that high-octane, super-Americanised forensic science thing. My suggestion was that the tone should remain comedic - with a super-elaborate crime being 'solved' by the detective, when the truth of the crime is much more mundane (as shown in flashback). This has definite potential...


    Your idea about the child detective interrogating his/her toys re. missing cookies etc. is also nice - because of the obvious use of the light-bulb/spotlight as a classic interrogation device:

    The way to structure this idea, would be to have the 'child-interrogates-toy' as the reveal in Act 3 - so that prior to this moment, the audience thinks they're watching something much more serious and consequential. You could still use all your film noir research - using shadow and the lightbulb to 'obscure' the truth of the interrogation; the 'crime' (of stealing cookies) could be presented very seriously - as if we're watching the interrogation taking place in the child's imagination. It reminds me of the opening of Toy Story 3 when the toys are embedded in an epic fantasy adventure scenario (when in fact the epic scenario is 'inside' the head of the child playing with the toys). I know you must be desperate to make a commitment to an idea, and you've already tried a number of scripts - but this idea has a built-in 3rd act twist, can make use of all the detective style you're already familiar with, and makes embedded use of the lightbulb. Obviously - the crime scene is the kitchen...

    So, the trick would be to set up Act 1 as an interrogation - all black and white, noir lighting, with a hard-boiled detective grilling some poor suspect(s) about the robbery in question...

  2. Regarding your essay - yes, interesting, but just watch the 'flab' - for example, when you write that 'The essay will be examining other examples of Bunuel's films - don't use the word *like* - it's not necessary; be precise; just say 'This essay will also examine Bunuel's Un Chien Andalou...etc.' Just watch your use of language - often students throw in little words that are not required; cut out the faff and get your formal writing nice and lean.